this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
