fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I haven't been this sober since birth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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