She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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