we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize