at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
