is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
