he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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