You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
