I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Last time i carry you out of a forest
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
