my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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