That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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