We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
