At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
