you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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