I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
