I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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