Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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