Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
