The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
