I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
