just come out here and I will go home with you...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
whose parrot is this?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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