this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
