"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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