People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
