just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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