i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
