"it" just moved
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I will be naked everywhere
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize