I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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