Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
