Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
