She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
