When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
