I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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