i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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