I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
