i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
