Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
