the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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