just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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