i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
