found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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