I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
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I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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