dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
