my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize