so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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