normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
