fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
