No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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