Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize