Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
