In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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