you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
