Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
