don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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