If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
