You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
