I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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