so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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