You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
And then he peed in my hair
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