Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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