Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises